Mom Berates 18-Year-Old Babysitter For Letting Her 11 and 12-Year-Old Kids Swim in Their Pool, Despite Dad Telling The Babysitter They Were Allowed to Swim

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 15, 2026 12:30 PM EDT

It's not her fault that they can't communicate as a couple. 

Some parents aren't very good at communicating household rules to their babysitters. They tell them that all they need from them is to keep their kids alive, when in reality, there are many household rules they expect them to maintain. They don't want their babysitter to tolerate cruel words from their kids, and they might expect her to discipline them verbally, but that's not always easy for a teenager to do. It's understandable for a parent not to want their kid watching movies the whole time the babysitter is over, but if they don't explicitly say they don't want that, some lazy babysitters might just put Frozen on and wait for the parents to come home. 

A babysitter cannot read their employer's mind. If they see a trampoline in the backyard and the parents say nothing about it being forbidden when they're not around, they might very well assume the kids can jump on it! And that assumption might be 100% wrong! The babysitter in this Reddit story did everything right. She asked the dad of the kids she was babysitting (and has been babysitting for years) point-blank if they were forbidden from doing any activity, and he said no. She let them swim in the pool while she watched, and they emerged unharmed, partly because there were no incidents to speak of, and partly because she is a certified lifeguard who could've intervened if necessary. When the mom found out that she had let the kids swim in the pool, she was livid at the babysitter. Who else thinks she should've been livid at her husband for not knowing the basic rules of the house?

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  • Two sisters swim together while their babysitter watches them from outside the pool.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Two sisters swim together while their babysitter watches them from outside the pool.

    The girls in the photo are models, not the real subjects of the story. 

  • Am I the bad guy for allowing the kids I am babysitting to use their pool?

    I am 18F and the kids were 11 and 12. Little bit of backstory about me, I've been babysitting since I was 14, I've been helping take care of kids for longer, I have also
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • been a lifeguard since I was 16. Not to brag or anything I am pretty good at babysitting and have built up a pretty large group of people that ask me to babysit which is
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • honestly awesome because the pay is super good. I recently babysat for this family (the husband hired me) who had a pool and just like I always do, I ask a very
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • general, is there anything that the kids can't do/is there anything you don't want me to do with the kids, and he said no. I'm sure anyone with half a brain can see where this is
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • going. So after they left I do. some activities with the kids and suggest we go in the pool. We stay in there for a few hours and then it's a little bit after lunch
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • (around 1-1:30) so I suggest we go inside to get some food. They dry off, we eat food, they go shower and change while I clean up from lunch. Blah blah blah. We had a
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • pretty non issue day from my standpoint, no crying or fighting, everything was clean. Anyways fast forward to when the wife gets back and she was hugging her kids and she asked what they did
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • today and after they said they swam in the pool she looked at me super ped. But she didn't say anything then, kinda just paid me and hurried me out the door.
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • Mom glares at the babysitter for letting her daughters swim while she wasn't home, even though her husband hadn't told the babysitter it was forbidden.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Mom glares at the babysitter for letting her daughters swim while she wasn't home, even though her husband hadn't told the babysitter it was forbidden.

    Situation depicted by an actor. 

  • Anyways after I got home I got a text from her that was honestly way more unhelpful than it needed to be. She told me that they never let anyone use the pool without an
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • adult/them being there because it's a safety issue (honestly fair, kinda over the top protective but ok). During this convo I was trying to not be an a about it so I sort of let her
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • know that I agree with her however I am a certified lifeguard and even though I apologize for that her husband, who knew all my qualifications and stuff, did not mention
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • anything about it to me so I didn't feel like I'm in the wrong. Her husband later texted me asking if I could babysit the next week and I kinda just told him no, because I wasn't
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • available and that I felt that their communication was lacking so I didn't want to accidentally do something wrong again. I don't really think I'm the a-he here but honestly I
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • probably could be for not asking better questions in the first place.
    via u/SuperWetSwimmer
  • bigstink3r NTA. I hate when parents don't communicate with each other and then blame the sitter for it. I wouldn't babysit for that family again
    via u/bigstink3r
  • ClodaghSnarks Yeah I hate to say it but the "what can we NOT do" question is something you're gonna have to ask BOTH parents SEPARATELY at some point before you do the actual babysitting gig, because even close and loving parents can be shockingly uncommunative when it comes to what they'd both be okay with while the kids are being looked after by a babysitter.
    via u/ClodaghSnarks
  • Dittoheadforever You're NTA. If they have that rule, husband should have been made aware of it and let you know. I wouldn't want to sit for them again either, especially since she couldn't just say something when you were standing right in front of her.
    via u/Dittoheadforever
  • DJ_NY_Supreme NTA. > She told me that they never let anyone use the pool without an adult/them beinv there because it's a safety issue But.....you are an adult. Also, I would assume you're certified given you claim to be a lifeguard. Also, if the wife wants to be mad at someone she should go to her husband and not you; he said there aren't any dos and don'ts so how was you suppose to know they have that rule?
    via u/DJ_NY_Supreme

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lifeguard kids communication swimming pool parenting babysitting dad mom
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